Thursday, 11 June 2015

Fancy a Quickie?

Just to be absolutely, categorically, unquestionably 100% clear right from the get-go, it was Fanny who named these little chocolate petit fours 'quickies' and not me. She also calls them Bon Bons if you find it easier to swallow. Quite a number of the recipes included in recent parts have been totally filthily innuendo laden, almost as if dear old Fanny simply can't resist slipping one in, as it were. Maybe it's the chocolate that gets her all a quiver? Fanny claims that it has a psychological effect on children where they feel the need to smear it all over their naughty little hands, leaving distraught parents to holler at them 'Willy, don't gobble dear!'... You see, she can't control herself. Minx.

Fanny Cradock Chocolate Bons Bons

Presumably it's the potential waste that smearing chocolate would produce that upsets Fanny so. Fanny doesn't like to squander chocolate, and these 'quickies' are crafted mainly from thrifty leftovers. That's why they are so quick you see. Leftover buttercream and leftover chocolate. What? Who on earth has leftover chocolate just lying around? Perhaps Fanny has gone around snatching squares from the un-expecting naughty but otherwise (we can presume) innocent children intent on daubing and guzzling. She will have none of that.

Fanny Cradock Chocolate Bons Bons

I'm cracking open a fresh bar of specially coveted couverture I happened to snatch myself on a recent wander around Stockbridge Market, a Haggis spiced bar from Edinburgh based Chocolate Tree. Fanny swore by the restorative powers of Haggis, claiming it had cured her of a nervous breakdown, so surely it would be her choice for an afternoon fumble with a quickie too? Luckily for me, I don't need to be nervous, the chocolate doesn't contain any actual Haggis, just the spices and some oatmeal.

Fanny Cradock Chocolate Bons Bons

As I don't have any just kicking around, I firstly need to make some of Fannys buttercream, which is a mix of egg yolk, icing sugar and butter. Fanny whisks the yolk with the sugar over a pan of boiling water until it becomes light, fluffy, thick and 'absolutely free from streaks'. Got it Fanny, I'm fully clothed. To cool it down a bit, Fanny takes it off the heat and whisks it over a bowl of ice that she happens to have to hand until it's cold. Kinky. It's quite like a thick custard at this stage, but when beaten butter is mixed in it loses it's inhibitions and loosens up a little. Fanny adds some much reduced coffee to make hers Mocha. Everything with Fanny is Mocha. Not sure that Haggis and Coffee are good bed-fellows, so I add some chocolate extract from Little Pod to mine to oomph up the chocolate taste, before adding some of the melted Haggis stuff.

Fanny Cradock Chocolate Bons Bons

To the buttercream, Fanny adds a splash of Brandy (and we all know what Brandy makes you) and whips it with an electric whisk, adding more melted chocolate until it's so stiff the beaters almost grind to a halt. Whoa. All that's left to do is pop the mix into a piping bag and swirl it into little metallic cases. As it's so rigid I really need to squeeze hard, and they come out in well-rounded clusters rather than erect little twirls. How very Ferrero Rocher. I'm sure the Ambassador would be very keen to devour a quickie at the climax of his reception, and Fanny would be pleased to oblige. Just keep those smear-loving over-stimulated kids away from these, they'll only start gobbling again. These are for adults only.

Fanny Cradock Chocolate Bons Bons

8 comments:

  1. Fanny has way too much stuff just lying around. I too chortled at the mere suggestion of left over chocolate. Not in my hoose, Fanny

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    1. Indeed, left over chocolate schmocolate I say...

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  2. Fanny Cradock was a drag queen, in the same way that Bet Lynch from Coronation Street was, so what do you expect? I suspect you are right about her snatching poor Willy's chocolate. See what I did there?

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    1. If my eyebrows weren't already stretched northwards I'd looked shocked...

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  3. This blog is getting more like a George Formby song with every post. As for the petits fours, it may be sticky but I never complain - it's nice to have a nibble at it now and again.

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    1. I will resist calling the next post When I'm Cleaning Windows... It's naughty old Fanny, not me you understand, will attempt to clean things up!

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  4. Left over chocolate?! Surely that's a crime punishable by death! Haha. Love the look of this recipe :)
    MissPond | Manchester Based Lifestyle Blog

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