Monday, 11 July 2016

Which Witches 'Wich

Fanny Cradock really was one of a kind. A unique kind of cookery writer, her books and recipes are certainly not like those by anyone else. Ever. Let's test it out. Take a wander over to your bookshelf. Stare hard at your collection. Let your eyes gaze over the titles and think deeply about the recipes contained within. Concentrate. Can you recall any of the books containing recipes that you would 'only serve to your most detested female enemy in moments of extreme rage'? Recipes that were supposedly the 'most horrific' in the world? Let me know if I'm wrong, but I reckon it's only in one of Fanny's volumes that you'll find just that.

Fanny Cradock Open Sandwich

In this fairly unique start, even for Fanny, to part 32 looking at Sweet and Savoury Sandwiches, the focus is first of all upon Danish Open Sandwiches. After all, Fanny says, the Danes have some of the best pastry cooks in the world, have Sandwich Houses and apparently the sandwich servers wear leather aprons. What's not to like? The sandwich selection is enormous, around five hundred different possibilities, all offered 'by the yard'. So naturally you'd choose one that that you absolutely one hundred percent detested, served only to those who disgust you even more, to showcase here.

Fanny Cradock Open Sandwich

Fanny chooses Danish Open Sandwiches to 'widen our basic arc of thinking' when we consider sandwiches. At the lowest possible sandwich level is the national loaf, sold frequently from the deep freeze, wrapped up in the modern equivalent of mackintosh knickers and pre-sliced. Always tasting like inner soles. Fanny isn't a fan. It is possible to progress though, Fanny recommends French bread, rye bread, black bread, brioches and pumpernickel. Even diet 'biscuits', but not Ryvita. They taste like minced straw mattresses apparently. We'll perhaps have to take Fannys word for that one.

Fanny Cradock Open Sandwich

Fanny's final slimming tip is to make your sandwiches with a Cambridge Loaf, which has enabled Fanny to maintain her waistline at the same measurement that it was 20 years previously, even after becoming a mother and grandmother. Allegedly. If you make any 'off' comments about Fanny's waistline, then beware, it will be this sandwich that is served to you. Fanny calls it a Jansen's Temptation, but when I google that it seems to be a Swedish casserole of potato and onions. Fanny won't have mixed up her Nordic countries by any chance and surely knows her smørrebrød from her smörgåsbord?

Fanny Cradock Open Sandwich

She lets us know that Danish people themselves do not think sandwiches are even worth eating unless they contain the same amount of butter as bread, so bang goes the diet. This particular horror is topped with another thick layer of blue cheese. It should be Danish of course. And then smothered with raspberry jam. I can think of many, many worse things to spread on a slice of bread to serve to my most hated enemy, female or not, in moments of extreme rage, than butter, some lovely blue cheese and fruity jam. Fanny never divulges just who that nasty woman was, or what she did to upset her so. She does nonetheless suggest serving the sandwich with a spicy snifter of spirited Snaps in an attempt to salvage the situation. My only wish is that Fanny had produced a whole cookbook stuffed with recipes for people you despise. Meanwhile, Skål.

Fanny Cradock Open Sandwich

12 comments:

  1. Did you eat it?

    I like Ryvita. Sesame ryvita with hummous is food of the gods.

    And year, I know Janssen's temptation as containing potatoes, onions and anchovies, denitiely not a sandwich. Maybe Fanny had had too much of the snaps...

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    1. I did eat it and quite enjoyed it! The butter was too thick really, but in the name of authenticity! We used to have Cheddar and Jam Pieces (Sandwiches) when I was young, so it kind of reminded me of that. Poor old Fanny was in a muddle it seems, I agree too much Aquavit!

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  2. I would love that amount of butter!!! Now, more about those leather apron wearing Danes. Perhaps a field trip should be on the cards for us... ;)

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    1. The butter was just a little too much for me with the cheese, but a little research trip to Denmark sounds ideal!

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  3. Oh she was certainly unique wasn't she??!! I think Fanny's open sarnie sounds rather tasty, although am starting to regret winning a year's supply of Ryvita - I kid you not!!!! Xx

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    1. Gosh! Just how much is a years supply exactly!? I enjoyed the sandwich, mostly, just a touch too much butter!

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  4. That's some pretty good buttering skills, right to the edge.

    I've never had cheese and jam, tomorrow I'll put that right!

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    1. You'll enjoy it, let me know what you reckon!

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  5. "You've upset me, dear. So I'm going to feed you a 'jam butty' thus treating you like a common Northern person. Not now, Johnnie. You can open the Margaux later."

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  6. Yup - Fanny is round the bend, unfortunately - Jansson's Temptation is a Swedish potato/onion/anchovy casserole with a gratin topping and quite a lot of double cream!
    Re: the buttering of smørrebrød - yes, you have to butter the bread quite generously and right to the edges, but "the same amount of butter as bread"?! Nej, nej and thrice nej!

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    1. Poor old Fanny, she liked to be quite the 'authority' on things, and in the days before anyone knew any better, or had Google, she got away with it! She was determined about the butter too - wonder where she got it from?

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