Going, Going, Gondola

You know those days when you come in after a hard day at work, feeling more than a little lacklustre, hankering after something decent to nourish your mind, body and soul, but all you find when you open your neglected fridge is a desolate cucumber, a lonely potato, a few reclusive radish and a solitary red pepper. What on earth are you going to prepare to lift to you from your day of gloom with that motley crew of sadness?

On days like these, you need to TMLF. Think More Like Fanny. Would Fanny open the fridge and cry? Would Fanny reach for the phone to call a takeaway? Would Fanny give up and watch back to back episodes of the latest boxset instead? No. You need to TMLF. Where you see despair, she sees delight. Where you see misery, she sees merriment. Where you see a cucumber, she sees a Gondola.

You may not have booked a weekend away to Venice in a while, but if you TMLF you can be instantly transported there while you eat. You may never have been, may never have had the pleasure of a ride along the canals, and may never have clapped eyes on an actual Gondola in your life. If you TMLF this matters not one iota. Suspend your sorrow, open your lonesome fridge again, switch your mind to Fanny-mode and sail the waterways in style. That's what Fanny would do. TMLF.

Peel your potato with glee. Steam it with joy. Mash it with purpose. Grasp your cucumber with vigour. Slice it lengthways with vivacity. Scoop out the flesh with gladness. Mix with wth the mash while rejoicing. Add some mayonnaise with exuberance. Fill your hollowed-out-cucumber-cum-gondola with the mixture as if your life depended upon it. That's what Fanny would do. Think more like Fanny. Be more like Fanny. You know you want to.

Fanny of course, would not end there, delightful as the simple cucumber boat may appear. If we are to truly TMLF then we must prioritise garnish and presentation. It is the key to our own gastronomic gaiety, the answer to our dinners in the doldrums. Concentrate hard, TMLF. Take your red pepper and slice it into hooks to hang off your vessel, perhaps as oars. TMLF. Grasp your cucumber cut-offs and fashion them back onto the top of your creation, perhaps as seats. TMLF. Embrace your radish. Canelle them into flowers. Arrange them 'on board', perhaps as groups of shiny, happy tourists. Transport yourself to Venice. Think more like Fanny. Live like Fanny. Be Fanny!