Don't Be A Tosser!

Fanny is very serious about all things pancake, and tries her utmost to pass that gravity on to all her readers. She is on a mission to educate and eradicate any frippery. She does not understand at all why we in Great Britain continue to associate pancakes only with Shrove Tuesday. It makes her flipping mad to think about those 'coarse wash-leather chaps' which people pass for pancakes but which she thinks would be splendid only for cleaning the car with. It's all about being professional you see. Who has ever heard of a great chef laying down instructions that in order to eat pancakes you must first tear along the road like a 'blue-based fly' chucking the poor wretched things in the air trying to catch them? It makes no sense to Fanny at all.

We can heave a sigh of relief however, Fanny is here to propel us all towards the professional way. So if you are tempted to hurl your pancakes high and enjoy a little bit of heritage hilarity, be prepared to sling your batter now. Pancakes are one of the best ways Fanny knows of eking out left-overs and thrilling guests, but in order to please your guests to maximum effect you must be able to lob your pancakes out at speed and without getting hot and flushed in the kitchen as you do so. The key is preparation and preservation. And of course making super thin professional style pancakes in the first place. If your pancakes are thick enough to toss, Fanny says, there is only one place to toss them - into the dustbin.

Fanny discusses many, many variations for pancakes from the very basic higher and higher up her favourite 'culinary ladder' to the summit. The method for making and using them remains the same, but each step up a rung provides a slightly more 'dreamy' result for ever increasing special occasions. For Fanny, no proper pancake batter is capable of holding a smooth consistency when made very runny (the key to thinness) - the consistency of single cream - unless it is made with olive oil. So this becomes the basis for the basic French recipe and all that follow. The basic recipe is flour, eggs, olive oil and enough milk to reduce it to the consistency of single cream.

The more dreamier versions start by bunging in icing sugar, a touch of salt and either some brandy, rum or kirsch. Then they add white wine instead of liqueurs, and then actual single cream instead of milk. For really splendid savoury versions, the icing sugar is slung altogether. I'm going dreamy with mine, but switching it up a little by sticking with kirsch and adding cream. Once mixed up together to the required consistency, Fanny details how to make the pancakes. First step is to lay out a sheet of oiled greaseproof paper for the finished pancakes. Heat your pan and brush it lightly with oil. Pour a little batter in to the side of the pan as you hold it at an angle and twirl to swirl it to completely cover the base. If you pour the batter into the centre of the pan, you will have a lump in the middle. Be warned. As soon as the mixture is set, flip it over for a moment or two with a spatula.

When it's cooked on both sides, launch the wafer thin pancake onto your greaseproof and set to on the next one. When they are all done, it is perfectly easy to snip round each one and assemble them in a pile with greaseproof paper remaining in between. None should have headed bin-wards. Then fold them over with kitchen foil and they'll keep in the fridge for a week, ready to thrill at a moments notice. Clearly Fanny's Personal Assistant, Alison Leach, was not so thrilled as she asked Fanny one day over luncheon, 'why can't you create chocolate pancakes?' So Fanny did, just by adding powdered drinking chocolate to the mix. Her own invention. The only trouble Fanny found was that the more she created, the more some people ate. I can understand it - they tasted great! Some people had been known to eat 48 at one sitting. Fanny doesn't explicitly say it was Alison, but, you know...