A Whack of Leather - Our Third Fanny-versary!

Three really is a magic number, but sometimes it feels a little overlooked. I mean everyone likes a 'first' don't they? Nothing better. The Winner! The Original! The Pioneer! Second feels like a real achievement, having kept going and 'done it again', still pretty good compared to first. Third though, it's a bit like, okay, that's great. A kind of 'well done' but also a 'what's for tea' kind of celebration really. So, it may just be me, but today I am shouting it loud and cheering (for myself) as Fanny and I celebrate a terrific three years together. Aw. That's 'leather' in anniversary terms... Oh. Best move on.

Three years! You may not have been reading along from the very beginning (erm, but now I think of it, what not?), but that's a lot of weird and whacky recipes, a lot food colouring and a lot of mentions of poor, down-trodden assistants getting into hot water for not following instructions. That's probably where the leather comes in - a quick whack with a belt? It's also three years of learning new techniques, uncovering new flavour combinations and generally having a real laugh. Every day. That's not bad going is it? With Fanny watching over me. Every day. I don't think I've done anything deserving of a good belting. Yet.

I must distract Fanny's mind from leather. Fortunately Fanny has just the thing in mind for 'our' celebration - a three tired cake. Okay, so she's got her celebrations a little mixed up, but it's the thought that counts isn't it? She remembered! Her idea is to make a three tiered wedding cake, perfect for a June bride. She did love a good wedding, whether in June or not. She even had a fake one or two along the way, often more than one at the same time, and never really much clarity on who was married to whom, but we're not being judge-y today of all days, it's a day to celebrate.

Fanny suggests her tried and tested Christmas Cake (is it too early to mention?) for the three tiered triumph. We've made it before, together of course, but never in triplicate. Fanny informs us that the base layer is to be cut and eaten on the wedding day. The second layer should be stored away to celebrate the First Anniversary, or if we are more ambitious, and have blooming good storage, the Silver Wedding Anniversary. The Third and final tier is intended to celebrate the birth of the first child. I fear that Fanny may be waiting quite some time for that particular celebration. Maybe a sacrificial leathering is the best option after all.

So, it's a spicy, fruity, slightly boozy cake fest in June. Once all three cakes are mixed up and baked, Fanny urges us to move swiftly onto the decoration. Almond Paste followed by Royal Icing is essential as a starting point. She advises that it is best to practice decoration on an entirely irrelevant cake that you just happen to have lying around. This is what she makes Johnnie do. Poor Johnnie, it keeps him occupied. He decorates the bottom layer with stars. I, on the other hand, do not have any irrelevant cakes, or indeed any that hang about too long, but I am always applying the knowledge that wise old Fanny gives me. So I know cakes should be blue. Mix the two together and surely this is the ultimate Third Fanny-versary cake? The big question is, will we still be together for the next five years of Fanny Fun required to compete the Cookery Programme? Our next Fanny-versary is the much more suitable Fruit and Flowers, so don't be scared...

Decor-ation, that's what you need

When I was young, Easter was all about the decoration. Our excitement didn't come from collecting more chocolate eggs than we could possibly consume, it was much simpler. We spent months (okay it may have just been weeks) planning our adornments, thinking about our designs, and collecting up paints, pens and paraphernalia to transform our very ordinary hard boiled eggs into wonderful creations that would surely outshine all others. Then we'd roll them down a hill and smash them.

I'm sure we did get a chocolate egg or two as well. They were simple ones, small and filled with only a few Smarties or such like. Nothing too fancy. Fanny would've been horrified. She clearly sees Easter as a time to go completely overboard on chocolate decoration. The sky's the limit, apparently, now that we have mastered the very basics. The world appears to have caught up with her aspirations now. The shops are full of every kind of decorated cocoa product you could imagine. Twitter is awash with sky-high piles of Creme Eggs atop cakes, drizzled with more chocolate and sprinkled with whole chocolate bars. Even Fanny could never have imagined. Fanny wanted us all to fabricate chocolate worlds that didn't exist really to brighten up our Easter celebrations.

We know by now that Fannys' world is a strange one, and Easter is no exception. She hopes that we'll join her in making some 'glamourous' Easter Eggs, attractively presented 'at speed'. All tiddled up and fancied, controlled only by our own time and available expenditure. The partwork is awash with templates to trace onto ordinary greaseproof paper to make our chocolate creations. What Fanny has in mind is, naturally, a giant chocolate Rabbit pulling a chocolate cart filled wth a chocolate egg which has been covered in Royal Icing. It's what you were hoping for isn't it?

Fanny says we can make the most delightful Easter gifts, even though we may have so very little experience. The cart is made in four parts. Chocolate needs to be melted and carefully spread onto the templates, being very careful to get to, but not over the edges. Fanny does not approve of wobbles. I'm terrible at this kind of thing. My chocolate of choice for a cart is white, with rainbow pieces (small Smarties) hidden throughout it. Then sprinkled with sugar confetti, of course, left to harden and carefully removed from the paper backing and assembled. Fanny suggests small chocolate biscuits for wheels (the cart clearly needs these to move...) for which I have mini Oreos. I never even knew they existed, near mind how handy they'd be for this Easter scene.

Fanny pops to the shop for the remaining items. Really. She buys a chocolate Rabbit to pull the cart. And a cheap chocolate egg to fancy up with Royal Icing to make a Snow White Egg. I can't for the life of me figure out who would want an iced chocolate egg, or why you would do it, but Fanny says it is the height of glamour, so... My chocolate bunny is a little small for his hand-fashioned cart, but I'm sure he'll manage to drag it to the top of the hill without many problems. I'm not so sure that the Royal Icing on the Egg will crack at all when it's shoved down the hill... maybe that's the point.