Fancy a Quickie?

Just to be absolutely, categorically, unquestionably 100% clear right from the get-go, it was Fanny who named these little chocolate petit fours 'quickies' and not me. She also calls them Bon Bons if you find it easier to swallow. Quite a number of the recipes included in recent parts have been totally filthily innuendo laden, almost as if dear old Fanny simply can't resist slipping one in, as it were. Maybe it's the chocolate that gets her all a quiver? Fanny claims that it has a psychological effect on children where they feel the need to smear it all over their naughty little hands, leaving distraught parents to holler at them 'Willy, don't gobble dear!'... You see, she can't control herself. Minx.

Presumably it's the potential waste that smearing chocolate would produce that upsets Fanny so. Fanny doesn't like to squander chocolate, and these 'quickies' are crafted mainly from thrifty leftovers. That's why they are so quick you see. Leftover buttercream and leftover chocolate. What? Who on earth has leftover chocolate just lying around? Perhaps Fanny has gone around snatching squares from the un-expecting naughty but otherwise (we can presume) innocent children intent on daubing and guzzling. She will have none of that.

I'm cracking open a fresh bar of specially coveted couverture I happened to snatch myself on a recent wander around Stockbridge Market, a Haggis spiced bar from Edinburgh based Chocolate Tree. Fanny swore by the restorative powers of Haggis, claiming it had cured her of a nervous breakdown, so surely it would be her choice for an afternoon fumble with a quickie too? Luckily for me, I don't need to be nervous, the chocolate doesn't contain any actual Haggis, just the spices and some oatmeal.

As I don't have any just kicking around, I firstly need to make some of Fannys buttercream, which is a mix of egg yolk, icing sugar and butter. Fanny whisks the yolk with the sugar over a pan of boiling water until it becomes light, fluffy, thick and 'absolutely free from streaks'. Got it Fanny, I'm fully clothed. To cool it down a bit, Fanny takes it off the heat and whisks it over a bowl of ice that she happens to have to hand until it's cold. Kinky. It's quite like a thick custard at this stage, but when beaten butter is mixed in it loses it's inhibitions and loosens up a little. Fanny adds some much reduced coffee to make hers Mocha. Everything with Fanny is Mocha. Not sure that Haggis and Coffee are good bed-fellows, so I add some chocolate extract from Little Pod to mine to oomph up the chocolate taste, before adding some of the melted Haggis stuff.

To the buttercream, Fanny adds a splash of Brandy (and we all know what Brandy makes you) and whips it with an electric whisk, adding more melted chocolate until it's so stiff the beaters almost grind to a halt. Whoa. All that's left to do is pop the mix into a piping bag and swirl it into little metallic cases. As it's so rigid I really need to squeeze hard, and they come out in well-rounded clusters rather than erect little twirls. How very Ferrero Rocher. I'm sure the Ambassador would be very keen to devour a quickie at the climax of his reception, and Fanny would be pleased to oblige. Just keep those smear-loving over-stimulated kids away from these, they'll only start gobbling again. These are for adults only.

Bon Viveur's Eat, Drink, Discover Scotland

Fanny and Johnnie had so many careers on the go at any one time, with different pseudonyms for each venture, and mostly all having a foodie connection. Their anonymous restaurant reviews, which appeared in the Daliy Telegraph, using the Bon Viveur moniker, were extremely popular. Fanny herself used to boast that they could 'make or break' a place once they were in print. They never accepted offers to review, that would be vulgar, and only revealed their identity after eating and settling the bill. The original food bloggers! For five years from 1950 until 1955 they remained elusive, but once their faces were firmly attached to their words, they found a new way to review and recommend. They expanded on their restaurant reviews to include travel and discovery, presumably for those less fortunate than themselves to hear about all sorts of exotic and fantastic adventures at home and across Europe. Their newspaper columns continued to charm readers, and they released several volumes of 'travel guides' for home and abroad. The original travel bloggers! 

One of their most popular editions was their Guide to London and the British Isles. Advertised as the definitive manual informing readers 'where to dine, wine, visit, stay, relax and entertain' around the country. As with most of Fannys output, it was largely recycled from their columns and expanded from a previous volume which looked at London only. As Fanny used to say 'money for old rope'. The original entrepreneurs! The guide itself is charming and the Scottish Section lists a variety of places to explore from Aberfoyle to Turnberry. Each location gives the very best hotels, a headline of what to expect - 'Motorists Mecca', 'Shooting', 'Escape from Cities' or perhaps 'For Business Men' - contact details, the all important review, prices, what local speciality food to expect, what drinks are likely to be available, what sights can be seen around and about and crucially, of bizarrely, if dogs are welcome. The original Dugs'n'Pubs! 

Fanny liked Scottish cuisine, and was a trailblazer for Haggis before it was seen as a national treasure. She gave recipes to make your own at home, mainly as she felt that the very best ones which were produced in Scotland were kept by the Scots themselves, leaving only small and considerably inferior ones available in shops locally. By locally she meant in London. It's one of those recipes that starts, 'First clean a sheeps stomach carefully...' Fanny claimed to be half French from time to time too, so included recipes for the French version too, which she called Franchemoyle. She liked to balance out any debate of provenance! The original diplomat! 

Either way, she recommended it be served with a fine Scotch Whisky and enjoyed while discovering the country! She even claimed that Haggis cured her of a nervous breakdown, or was it simply marvellous marketing? You decide. Certainly the original Bon Viveur's! 

The Bon Viveur guides were essential reading to track down what to Eat, Drink and Discover. Fanny and Johnnie claimed to aim to share their extensive knowledge and good taste with us all, and I have no doubt that their books were clutched by excited travellers and followed with fervour. Today it's even easier to find out what's new, what's local and what's trendy with so many online reviews, TV shows and festivals celebrating food and drink. 

Eat Drink Discover Scotland, Scotland’s largest celebration of Scottish food & drink will open its doors on Friday 12th September, allowing visitors the opportunity to experience the very best Scotland has to offer all in one day!  Billed as the ultimate celebration of food and drink in Scotland, it's a three-day foodie extravaganza, bringing together over a hundred exhibitors showcasing top notch Scottish food & drink, a stellar line-up of celebrity chefs (Fanny of course was the original!) and a packed programme of demonstrations, tastings, talks and sampling sessions. I'm heading along to see what I can Eat, Drink and Discover about Scotland. Fanny and Johnnie would likely be there in a flash too, probably insisting it be billed as Bon Viveur's Eat, Drink, Discover Scotland though. And they'd sell you a book about it afterwards. And a homemade Haggis. And you'd be delighted. 

Eat Drink Discover Scotland is one of the highlights of the Scottish Food & Drink Fortnight 2014. An annual celebration, this year the fortnight runs from 6th-21st September, during which there will be a calendar of events aimed at encouraging people to try some new food adventures such as foraging, visiting a pick your own farm or even just trying a new product or recipe.

Created to promote the healthy, locally sourced food and drink available throughout the country, the 2014 celebration aims to be the biggest yet. The festival will also act as an excellent introduction the Scottish Government’s 2015 Year of Food and Drink celebrations.

Eat Drink Discover Scotland has been put together by the Royal Highland & Agricultural Society of Scotland (RHASS). Chief Executive, Stephen Hutt, said: “Our vision when creating this event was to provide a unique regional showcase. At Eat Drink Discover Scotland you can truly taste Scotland in one day – from Orkney Lamb to Galloway Chillies – all regions are represented.”

Tickets for the must-attend food and drink event of the year are on sale now, at
www.eatdrinkdiscoverscotland.co.uk 

• Organised by Royal Highland & Agricultural Society of Scotland (RHASS)
• Advance Tickets £12.50(£10) Children under 15 go free
• Royal Highland Centre, Ingliston
• Free Parking
• Opening times: Friday 12noon-8pm Saturday 10am-6pm Sunday 10am-5pm

Pushing the Boat Out - a Trio of Tantalising Tartlets

Fanny gives me her instruction on what an 'individual' savoury tartlet size should be - it's really for me to decide I presume depending on which rather grand occasion I am catering for on which very special evening I am planning. If I am making canapés they should be 'one bite size'. If I am making elegant appetisers, they of course need to be 'two bite size'. The 'three bite size' tartlets are saved for a favourite daily snack time for Fanny that she calls 'omnivorous', which sounds good to me - devouring everything in sight seems to sum me up at the moment.

So, what are these Petits Tartelettes Savoureuses that Fanny is tempting me with today? The first of the trio are Papillions a la Russe, or plain old Savoury Butterflies. Except there is nothing plain about these little lovelies, as you might expect. I choose 'three bite size' tartlet cases and bake blind some of Fanny's savoury paste as before. The only other ingredients are a simple Vegetable Macédoine (which of course Fanny does not explain), some mayonnaise and oh yes, some green food colouring. I wondered when that would make an appearance.

So I chop up into very small cubes some carrots, potatoes, French beans and cook them gently in some butter and oil with garden peas until they are soft. Thank heavens for Google. Then I combine the mayonnaise with a drop or two of green colouring. Fanny recommends using perfectly harmless vegetable colouring, just in case anyone was feeling risky and fancied opting for a toxic animal based variety. 

It's very bright. Just as Fanny would want. Now all I need to do is mix the vegetables with the mayonnaise and fill the pre-baked tartlet case. Oh yeah, and of course, add some butterfly wings made from pastry off cuts. Flutter flutter little tartlets. Have you ever seen butterflies that look like this?

Tartlet number two is a variation on Fanny's suggestion. She recommends Ham and Egg filling, but as a veggie alternative I reach for my trusty Macsweens Veggie Haggis, which I think will work wonderfully. This time the tartlet case is lined with wilted spinach, topped with a slice of lightly fried Veggie Haggis and finished off with an egg 'poached' in a little butter inside a scone cutter, naturally.

The final in this tempting little trio are something Fanny seems very proud of - Petits Bateaux Savoureux. Yes, little Savoury Boats. Fanny tells me that it really is quite inexpensive to pop out and buy some little boat shaped moulds, and it really will be such fun to see them 'sailing' between a plateful of other tartlets. I already have a cupboard groaning with various tins, moulds and cooking paraphernalia so am really not keen to purchase any more, no matter how fun it would be. However I have a cunning plan! I bake some savoury pastry in my Madeleine tin - genius! Why didn't Fanny think of this? For this one I need some of my Macédoine from earlier, some cream cheese, a few processed cheese triangles and some very straight pretzel sticks. I could only find Twiglets.

It's a simple case of mixing the cream cheese with the vegetables, filling the 'boat' pastry case, adding a 'sail' of cheese triangle and then to 'complete the illusion' adding the stick as shown... Watch them little boats sail across my dish! I bet Dynamo himself would be fooled by this particular illusion - expect to see it in his next show.

Fanny reassures me that all of these savoury tartlets are really rather simple to put together - she has entrusted little Sally (who has 'only' been with Johnnie and Fanny for six months instruction at the time of writing) to make and garnish all three all by herself. I assume it's been a very intensive period of six month training for poor little Sally. The finished tartlets are really fun, slightly odd to look at but really quite tasty as ever. So, let's wolf them all down, erm, I mean partake in our daily 'omnivorous' session, quick before the other guests arrive in time for for cocktails and canapés.