Holy Moly Roly Poly

Fanny Cradock certainly had a vivid imagination. Maybe freaky. Some of her earliest books were written for Children, and were lovingly illustrated. Perfect bedtime stories filled with magical creatures, all with familiar names, who got themselves into a series of relatable mishaps in fancied worlds and landscapes. Things could've been very different if the children books themselves had been enough to keep a good income flowing in for Fanny, instead she looked beyond her charming tales towards food.

We know, however, that she made the most of her fanciful visions in the food that she created too. Maybe freaky. Often she combined her two worlds into one, and made up things for the young folks to make while their parents busied themselves working through her proper recipes. Her creations might've looked quite at home nestled aside the grown-up recipes as they were often just as colourful, just as over the top and just as bonkers.

Perhaps Fanny and just been to the Circus, with some rather tipsy clowns rolling into town to entertain her and Johnnie, as she thinks that 'tumbling roly-poly clowns' are ideal for the small fry to make, for no other apparent reason other than for belly laughs. Maybe freaky. Made simply from fondant icing and a few chocolate twigs, there will be no clowning around in the kitchen today.

Fanny suggests colouring up some plain, white fondant with any harmless vegetable colouring that you like, there is no need to copy her idea of one pink and one blue clown. Maybe freaky. My fondant is ready-coloured for ease, so I'm sticking with red and blue. Fanny makes her chocolate 'twig' arms and legs with softened chocolate dribbled onto greaseproof paper and cooled, but I'm a step ahead...

Fanny rolls large balls, about the size of tennis balls, for fat bodies, and smaller balls, about the size of ping-pong balls, for heads, to start her clowns transformation to animation. She glues them together with a little egg white. She makes little hats, little eyes, little noses, little mouths, little ears and little spots for their outfits. All from fondant, although the mouths can be little scraps of glacé cherry if you wish. Once assembled, Fanny uses a cocktail stick to gouge out a little hole to stick in the arms and legs at jaunty angles. To make it look as if the clowns are rolling about and laughing, you see. Fanny suggests that you can even pop along to your local travelling circus and scramble under the marquee to collect some soil for them to rollick around in. Although if you do so, Fanny warns you not to eat this. That would be freaky.

It's Chrissssssssstmas! Are you fond of festive fondant?

Christmas is so important to Fanny that she dedicates several parts to whipping up endless treats and essentials for the annual celebration. So, for the next few months it's all Noël round here as I prepare along with Fanny. Previously I'd be one of those people who refused to think about the 'C' word at least until after Bonfire Night, and more likely well into December, but Fanny must be infiltrating my mind and soul. I am cheerily skipping through the fake snow of the Christmas department of John Lewis, watching back-to-back Christmas shows on Food Network UK and stocking up with winter-y ingredients as if my flat is to be hazardously cut off from civilisation at any moment. Fanny aims to get me prepared, but I am slightly concerned I may peak too soon...

For Fanny, the most festive of treats is cake. Not only was she determined that everyone should be able to afford a piece of cake at least once a year, but that at Christmas they should be decorated in a sufficiently celebratory fashion. Viewers and readers must've bombarded Fanny with 'cross letters' saying that her Royal Icing cracked their teeth, for here she recommends the softer Fondant as her covering of choice. However, Fanny says, please do not be alarmed into thinking that this is in any way a 'classic' fondant which must be worked up with a spatula on a marble surface. No, Fannys version is much less complicated. And everyone should make their own fondant, shouldn't they Mary Berry? The horror of shop bought was not in Fannys mind.

Fannys version involves adding an egg white and some gently warmed liquid glucose to sifted icing sugar. Fanny warns NOT to beat the egg white at all. Fanny has another warning to ONLY buy your liquid glucose for the chemist. Please update this advice to read 'any good supermarket' unless you want some very funny looks next time you pick up your prescriptions. This fondant is so easy, she sets poor Johnnie to it - simply working it up to a stiff paste and kneading it on a dusted surface. Any flavourings and colours may be added, I choose just to add some pastel shades. Well almost pastel shades.

Fanny uses her fondant to cover cakes, to stamp out pretty little designs to add to cakes and to cover her very favourite Minature Bûches de Noël, or Mini Swiss Roll Christmas Logs. Fanny clearly trusts us now to return to the very beginning and prepare her 'no-crack' Swiss Roll, the only difference is to make it thinner than usual. So I divide the standard mixture between two pans. Once cooked for only a few minutes, the panels are trimmed and cut into eight pieces of equal size. The trimming is essential to ensure that the roll up perfectly without those shameful cracks. 

Fanny fills her Mini Bûches with jam, jelly or buttercream. I went brambling at the weekend with my Mum for the first time in years, and made a very nostalgic batch of Bramble Jelly. I can clearly remember the smell and taste of my Grans jelly several decades after last having the joy of it, so this was my attempt to recreate it. I added some Elderflower Gin from Edinburgh Gin to the batch and it tasted perfectly hedgerow-retro-tastic. Perhaps my Gran used to add Gin to hers too? Either way it makes a perfect filling for these little festive fancies. Once spread and rolled up the fondant needs to be rolled out and cut to size to cover them. Fannys final warning is to roll out the fondant on a cold surface sprinkled with CORNFLOUR this time, which will not affect the fondant if the cakes are stored. It's like insurance she says, to avoid nasty little humps appearing like dogs under the bedclothes. Please take heed, and do not write any nasty letters to say it has if you haven't. Fanny has lots of Christmas knowledge to share, and doesn't have time to read them. 

It's All In The Booklet #3 - Your Christmas Cake

With only a hint of disgust, Fanny agrees to give two recipes for Christmas Cake - her Grandmothers Rich Fruit Cake, that so many people love (although not Fanny it would seem), and a 'spit new' one that Fanny has never shared before, her White Christmas Cake, which is beige of course. Fanny insists in the tough economic times that she is writing the booklet - which really has so much in it that it's a small book - that we all enjoy at least ONE decent cake in the year. I decide to make and enjoy both of course. The ingredients are similar, but instead of all dark fruits, the White Christmas cake has glacé pineapple, oranges, coloured cherries and her very favourite and long forgotten angelica. It's also made with a mixture of self raising flour and cornflour.

On TV Fanny assures viewers that she has scrubbed and scrubbed 'downstairs', but innuendo fans can relax as she means her hands in the make up room, presumably the studio is upstairs. For both cakes, hands are used to mix and squelch the ingredients together before they are plopped into the prepared cake tins ready for baking. I may have also used a spatula, luckily poor darling Sarah didn't attempt to tidy mine away, so no need to bark at her this time.

Once baked they really do look quite different, the old fashioned one is gloriously dark, shiny and heavy while the spit new version is light, and sparkly - but Fanny pleas that we please do not mistake it for a Madeira cake, Fanny will go right off you if you do. I know they are ready as they come out the oven NOT singing. This is Fannys top tip for cake testing, although if you are deaf, she says, use a skewer. I've made both cakes several weeks ago of course, Fanny says they are best if made a year in advance but I'm not convinced, or that prepared. I've been steadily feeding them with a Brandy ever since. Fanny recommends using the very cheapest of cooking Brandy from a miniature bottle, but feeling flush I go for something much more high end, it's just who I am. Sorry Fanny.

Fanny covers her cakes in real, classic, Almond Paste, which shouldn't be confused with nasty, cheap, shop bought Marzipan. It's made with ground almonds, icing sugar, raw egg whites, orange flower water and rose flower water. Please do not irritate Fanny, as one person did after at a demonstration at the Royal Albert Hall who wrote afterwards to tell Fanny her recipe was disgusting, and use flowery Face Cream instead of flavoured waters for culinary use. Okay? The waters used to be only available from the chemist, hence the mistake, but are now widely available in supermarkets thankfully. Fanny will NOT tolerate criticism from viewers and readers if they do not follow her recipes CORRECTLY. I do and it was a joy to make the almond paste actually, and easy to roll and cover the cakes.

For the icing, Fanny gets upset that we might revert to the usual Royal Icing which will create a fearful mess, break our teeth and fly across the room as we cut into it, but she grudgingly gives a recipe for it anyway. However her favoured recipe is for triumphant and easy to handle Fondant Icing and she encourages us to make this instead. Oh, I've never made my own, just bought some and rolled it out. It was surprisingly easy to make too though - just icing sugar, egg whites and gently warmed liquid glucose.

Fanny has another top tip for rolling out the icing, which I am dubious about but it really works well, and that's to use cornflour. It never sticks, and won't spoil the icing. Fabulous. Fanny shows us how to slip our arms under the rolled out fondant, of course making sure our nails are well manicured and clean, and lift it carefully over the cakes before smoothing down. For old fashioned cake I keep it traditional, but for the White Christmas version I add a swirl of blue food colouring for a marbled effect. Fanny thinks blue colouring is best for cakes and green for potatoes. I have transformed the 'rather dull assembly of cakes' into sparkly festive crackers. I'm almost as relieved as Fanny when she rather surprisingly proclaims 'we've done it' to poor Sarah. Unfortunately, I don't have a Johnnie, who is terribly good at these things, on hand with ordinary florist paper and a tube of UHU glue to make my trims, but I manage. Merry Christmas!