Be Kind To Your Vegetables

Fanny Cradock has rules. Not guidelines. Commands. Laws. She insists that readers follow her every move, chapter and verse. No deviation. As per regulation. Especially when it comes to simple things. Like vegetables. Fanny grows her own produce, wherever possible, so she knows exactly what produces the best and worst results. Her fundamental formula for success is fairly well documented. Fanny liked to water her own garden with, erm, her own water. Madam's Tonic. Yes. A natural sprinkler system. It produced the best results.

However her criteria for vegetables need not to stretch to us modelling that. Her ruling is that, like her, we are simply able to recognise on sight the 'duds' that some shops sell. Fanny's maxim is that even at the worst greengrocers, it is hard to find leathery spinach, overgrown rhubarb and giant new potatoes. Vegetables are gorgeous in spring and early summer, Fanny says, and her only prescription for success, apart from her natural fertiliser, is that they should be cooked with kindness. Never boiled. That is a ruling. That would be cruel.

She sets a precedent with spinach, for example. It should be flung in a hot pan and wilted. The job should be done in eight minutes, by decree of Fanny. Just enough to draw out the natural water content, of which there will be much. A panful of spinach juices will run free, leaving only the smallest amount of spinach when Fanny's direction is followed. Perhaps you might want to cook it slightly longer if you picked your spinach from Fanny's garden.

Fanny serves her spinach by statute too, either 'en branche', in full leaf, or 'en purée' which is simply rubbed through a sieve. It is raised to great heights though with the addition of some cheese and a little cream, often served as a separate course by the French. They simply would not make a course from boiled vegetables, not with their palates. The French collect the juices from the spinach, as they recognise that they will contain the highest flavour. If boiled, this would mean slinging the best away. As in Fanny's bathroom regimen, presumably. Although, it may be more sanitary to boil in Fanny's case.

Fanny knows that she is always ramming French edicts down our throats. Her best guide for vegetables is English however. The Steamer. She claims it is a virtuous pastime, and valuable too if you can stack it correctly. The French may call this 'trucs' but we would simply know it as a 'tricks'. Like boiling rice in the pan, and having carrots steaming above, with cabbage leaves above that. The carrots should be mashed up and served simply, ruffled up with a fork, with a blob of cream added. The cabbage leaves will be happiest stuffed with the rice and a simple sprinkle of, erm, paprika. You were worried there, weren't you? Stick to Fanny's rules in the kitchen, if not the garden, and be kind to your vegetables.

Supreme Steamed Cream

Fanny just loves to get steaming. Not in the 'whoops I've drunk a bottle of Buckfast' kind of way, but in having lots of fun as well as saving soooo much time with a versatile and invaluable kitchen tool - the steamer. Without this item Fanny tells us we won't be able to cook vegetables properly (ie the Fanny way) or even an entire three course meal in one container. This is provided of course you have a superior steamer which is sectioned and three tiered. Just like the one Fanny is selling as this weeks 'special offer'. What a coincidence. Without a steamer you won't be able to make Fannys Star Dish either - the sensational Cream Caramel, or Crème Moulée à la Vanille. Please don't mix the two and call it a Crème Caramel. 

Fanny says this is one of the leading 'bogies' for the British home cook, which Fanny herself is pleased to share solutions for in the same way she already has for meringues, Swiss Rolls and non-sinking Cherry Cakes. The stakes are high here, so before we can proceed Fanny dismisses the 'things which it is not' just so we are clear. It is NOT a mixture of eggs and milk RUINED with even a single grain of flour. Clear. It is NOT a mixture which has been baked in the oven or a Bain Marie which will end up pitted with little holes. Clear. Finally it is NOT anything which, in any circumstance whatever, is something which could taste like the real thing if it was made from a packet. Super clear - no flour, no oven and no packet mix. Just eggs, milk, sugar, vanilla and that beloved steamer. 

Now that I am ready to go forth into the world of steaming, I boil the milk and remove from the heat and add some sugar and a split vanilla pod and leave to infuse for 20 minutes or so. Meanwhile I add some sugar to a little pan and heat it over the lowest possible flame until the centre liquifies and becomes brown. At this point, and not before, I can stir very gently to dissolve all the sugar before swirling it into a soufflé mould.

To whipped eggs and extra yolks I gently add the infused milk and beat it all together, gradually. It froths up a fair bit, but Fanny suggests straining it to get rid of that 'inevitable foam' so I guess I am doing it right so far. I don't want those air bubble pitting my finished dessert with little holes. Fanny would be horrified. So would I. I am learning.

As instructed, I pour the mixture over the caramel base, cover with some 'oiled papers' and a layer of tight foil. Now for the dangerous part, Fanny says. The steaming. I don't have a stove top steamer like Fannys, I have a plug in plastic version. Surely it'll do the trick though? Fanny says if the water underneath boils it will cause those nasty holes she has mentioned several times, which will result in the pudding tasting all right, but will look unappetising and worse still, unprofessional. I steam for an hour and leave it to cool before turning it out. As Fanny says, it cuts like butter as opposed to margarine and the caramel top is glossy and cascades down the sides. It tastes fantastic, and nothing like those nasty packet mixes I remember. But please don't tell Fanny about the little pock marks and holes that have appeared round the edges. The shame of it all, how very unprofessional. Perhaps if I had the proper stove top steamer? Perhaps Fanny would be pleased if I bought one? Quick, pass the spoon before Fanny notices...